Since this quarantine started I’ve been reflecting, thinking, praying, searching for some sort of big revelation. It just seems like that type of season, you know? When you slow down enough for God to hit you with that thing He’s been trying to show you for a long time but you never listened. And for a lot of people He’s doing just that.
Last year, when I got home from my freshman year of college, I was completely overwhelmed. The year was an absolute whirlwind overflowing with growth. I was not the same person in the spring as I was in the fall. There was so much to reflect on and pray over because I knew the Lord was doing big things in my heart.
This year when I got home, it was six weeks earlier than it should’ve been (shoutout to the rona :P). I grieved and tried to settle and waited for God to just hit me with that “Wow, yes, that!” thing. Something that would spur on a blog post, to put it simply!
Then I started going on walks. (If you know me you know I hate walking so this is a new one for me.) And listening to podcasts. And reading. And memorizing Scripture. And listening to worship music. And meditating on this being Holy Week. And falling back in love with the Gospel.
And how selfish am I?
Who am I to think that I deserve some sort of incredibly revelation from the Lord? Who am I to think because I don’t understand it He is not teaching me? Who am I to think I should get more than I’ve been given in the holy Word of the Creator of the universe when everything I need to bring me to my knees is laid out plainly in Scripture.
The Sustainer of all things gives us everything. The blooming trees declare the majesty of their Creator. The breath in my lungs aches to sing of His glory, not my own. The health of my family is testament to His awesome protection.
And He is that, isn’t He? Awesome. Literally awe-inspiring. The Maker of the stars emptied Himself in sending His Son to die for us. Completely undeserving, we not only watched as they crucified Him . . . we cheered. We begged that He be put on the tree. And He did so willingly to take on the Father’s wrath.
Today, on Good Friday, I read through the story of Jesus’ death as many of us did I’m sure. And can you imagine?
Think of the love that takes. Think of how in love the Father is with us to sacrifice His Son. Of how overwhelmingly in love with us Jesus is to take on such a burden. The anguish He felt in Gethsemane (Mark 14) was real and horrible and yet He did not run. He did not strike down those who came to arrest Him. He did not call upon angels to save Him before He died. What love.
“And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and yielded up His spirit. And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And the earth shook, and the rocks were split.” (Matthew 27:50-51)
The symbolic representation of our separation from God was physically torn at the death of our Savior. Creation ached and groaned in the wake of His passing while humanity felt no guilt for what they had done.
If the hard-hearted centurion was filled with awe (v. 54), how much more so should we be? What other response to this is there than to fall to our knees? Because Jesus did not stay in the grave.
And He did this so one day we may be in the presence of the One who holds the world in His hands.
The things I’m aching for and grieving over in this season are just glimpses of what is to come. I miss my friends, but one day we will be in eternal community. I miss chapel and worship, but that daily experience is just the faintest taste of what worship will be like when we are face-to-face with the Holy of Holies. I miss campus because there’s so many beautiful trees and flowers this time of year, but Eden will be so much more glorious, even more so the face of Jesus.
So I’m praising the Lord for this time of year. For these little glimpses of heaven. The blooming flowers and trees that declare the stories are true. That the God who created them is real and His Son is ALIVE and seated on His throne.
I am just so in love with my Jesus, and I hope you are too. I could talk about Him all day so please reach out, no matter what you think your standing before Him is. He changes everything, my friends. Don’t sleep on this. We (clearly) are not guaranteed tomorrow. So praise your Maker for Easter and the blooming flowers and your family and health and breath and joy (Romans 5:11).
Andrew Peterson sings about this truth so beautifully (some of the ideas in this post are definitely his, including the title) and I highly recommend you listen to his Resurrection Letters albums in order. The man is a biblical, lyrical, creative genius. I’ve even put them in a playlist for you so you can’t no.
Here’s another playlist that I listen to when I just need to get back to the heart of it all; the Gospel. There’s a lot of Andrew Peterson on it, but a lot of other songs that just remind us who we are in Christ.
Love you. Praying for you. Stay safe out there!
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